James Knapp — Walt Disney Wants a Robot Heart

We all know about Walt Disney’s head,

sitting frozen in the sub-levels of Disneyland,

resting in icy stasis, waiting for the day

when it can once again manufacture

Nazi propaganda and childish whimsy.


When I’m dead, I want my head stored

next to Walt Disney’s so that the first thing

he sees when they thaw him out

is my face in a frozen wink, like “hey,

old buddy, they got both of us.”


That’ll be my punchline; my whole life

leading up to one weird goof on one

crazy bastard. But that’s all.

When they’ve put what’s left of Walt

in his new robot body


they can toss me in the garbage (I’ll leave money

in my will for disposal costs). That’s how I should

be remembered; as the weirdo who winked

at Walt Disney for eternity. He can have

his robot heart, as long as I get the last laugh.



James is a writer, podcaster and activist from Harrisburg, PA. He currently co-hosts the Planet Express Delivery Podcast on the Podbean network. You can reach him on Twitter at @GorillaKarate.